glancing of apricot anvils

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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2011-01-12 08:56 AM

your sins were too plentiful for forgiveness
but I would never want you to stop making them
since the flavor of your apricot would grow on me
more than missing peaches ever would be noticed

I knew we would always be back to back there
appropriate like rioting pirate captains
shiplessly drifting into our jello oceans
using mirrors to get know each other better

you seemed to enjoy the stuttering of my poetry
was it my pounding on the plum colored anvil
or the swollen metal turning red on the end
as our heat became more expected than surprising

yes I would have offended you with more rhymes
but lest some bluezoo animals would drown after
I remained more sparing in my time at your altar
hoping you in time would just smile appreciation

and leave me alone as we exchanged our glances

______________

daark

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

1 posted 2011-01-12 09:22 AM

Stunning. Only you might use the word "stuttering" in relation to your poetry; maybe you transmit so much emotion that it is the reader who stutters while reading it

!

Regarding the first line, I do hope that no one's sins will ever be so serious that forgiveness will not be granted. Especially in love matters!

Your most enthralling poetic gifts are always appreciated by the "bluezoo" members, so just never stop creating them.

Love,
Margherita

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2011-01-12 09:53 AM

How could anyone
leave you alone
unless you pushed
them away?

Lovely imagery...

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

3 posted 2011-01-12 10:34 AM

I'm reading a book by the name of "Reliable Wife," by Robert Goolrick, and this excellent poem reminds me of parts of it. This is not strumming, DS, this is picking hot licks.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

4 posted 2011-01-12 10:51 AM

Ah, I love the first stanza. Words really are you plaything eh?

Enjoyed.

-Trina
Be thankful for every person who has caused you pain. In that moment, they became your assistant of growth.

faithmairee
Senior Member

since 2011-01-05

Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA

5 posted 2011-01-12 12:21 PM

an intriguing poem full of excellent imagery...a truly great and wonderful poem, Dark

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

6 posted 2011-01-12 02:16 PM

Ho yeah! I love this stuff you come up with!

< knew we would always be back to back there
appropriate like rioting pirate captains
shiplessly drifting into our jello oceans
using mirrors to get know each other better>

I guess you were either blocking her light or standing in her shadow.

Absolutely great stuff. I'd just throw down and have my way but I have absolutely no class whatsoever.

Great work!!

Eric

Siamese twins move to England so the other one can learn how to drive!

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

7 posted 2011-01-12 02:22 PM

I love the first verse, it's so daring and sinfully delicious.

...the apricots and peach tree too.

You're so much fun, D~

Hugs you, dude~

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

8 posted 2011-01-12 03:47 PM

cool write..."as our heat became more expected than surprising"...very cool line...totally nice write

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

9 posted 2011-01-12 07:28 PM

ms mar, thanks so much lady friend

______________

ms sun, you sizzle me with your smiles

_____________

jp, thanks guy for the reads and comments...I appreciate your eyes
___________________________

ms sinz, thanks for the smile

___________________

ms faith, thank you for your gentle touch

__________________

et...thanks amigo..I enjoy your comments

__________________

babyblue, you make me smile wickedly babe

____________________

steavenr, thanks friend for the touch

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

10 posted 2011-01-12 09:34 PM

Stunning is just the first word.

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

11 posted 2011-01-12 10:39 PM

DS,

Read my eyes.

A

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

12 posted 2011-01-13 05:53 AM

friend garapan, humble thanks

_________________

ms ali-san...hey quit closing them...oh...you are just looking down ....ok thanks babe

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member

since 2010-03-03

Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan

13 posted 2011-01-16 12:23 PM

This is a classic Dark Stranger poem that ranks up there with some of your best.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

14 posted 2011-01-16 07:39 AM

thanks EB

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