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My Triumph Over Meter (can't keep ME down long!)
| Open Poetry #45 |
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My Triumph Over Meter (can't keep ME down long!) |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
I had a big epiphany And I think I can conquer it That mysterious meter thing My mind is a cacophony For inside the light bulb has lit And to the forefront I can bring Teeming with words of symphony The work through which my teeth have grit So I can have words and rhymes sing Maybe works like “Mony Mony” Will come out when my words are writ And my hands will no longer wring Now here before me is something that I ought In younger days to have already caught Arana Darkwolf |
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| © Copyright 2009 Rachael Fuchsberger - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo dear Arana, Bring on the mony Honey. You've got the right idea. Love Bobby |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
Thank you, Bobby. I was looking at Balladeer's latest lesson in the Poetry Workshop and I figured it out by the way he described Iambic pentameter. I was sooo thrilled with myself that I wrote that poem in a "meter" of minutes! Love, Arana Arana Darkwolf |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
wellll.... Lines 3,4,7,9 and 10 are not iambic. Line 13 has three syllables too many. Keep working at it  |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Rachael, Meter has been a struggle for me. All I can say is don't give up. Good effort. xoxoxo Z |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
grrr....I'll get it yet. Arana Darkwolf |
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