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crosscountry83
Member

since 2009-07-30

Posts 345

0 posted 2009-08-01 12:03 PM

This is my attempt at something with some sort of meter...

Burning bright,
It lights the night,
Shining far,
It points out stars.

Holding steady,
I'm not ready
Giving love,
A helpful shove.

Dying fast,
What's gone is past,
Turning time,
This life is mine.

This might be confusing, if anyone doesn't get what it's about, just ask

Also, does anyone know what those silver, red and yellow folders mean?

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

1 posted 2009-08-01 01:50 PM

this is very interesting to me because i to have wrote a similar poem called dry wax tears i think you might be intrested in. i will re-post it soon.

this piece was fantastic. one of my favorite that ive read from you thus far.

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

2 posted 2009-08-01 01:51 PM

also the meter was pretty decent to my reading. some may disagree, but it wasnt too bad.

crosscountry83
Member

since 2009-07-30

Posts 345

3 posted 2009-08-01 01:53 PM

Thanks, I'll be sure to take a look when you re-post.

arabesque
Junior Member

since 2009-07-26

Posts 14
USA

4 posted 2009-08-02 01:13 AM

Well I simply adored the meter. It was different, in a good way. Excellent write :)

Forever,
Arabesque<3

nehematala
Member

since 2009-05-21

Posts 129

5 posted 2009-08-02 05:16 PM

This is really good

I am not sure what the colored folders mean but I am guessing they mean the member you are maybe. I know the ones that open mean its their first post

The number one thing in acting is honesty: If you can fake that you've got it made.

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

6 posted 2009-08-02 06:24 PM

/pip/Forum67/HTML/000166.html

Click there for info about the folders. I asked the same question.

Liked the poem. But work on the story line. Its a little bumpy. And I know with meter its hard to keep it up but give it a shot.

-Zach

the_inner_me11
Junior Member

since 2009-05-12

Posts 15

7 posted 2009-08-04 01:51 AM

I liked it. The meter was nice in my opinion. Keep writing. =)

Penwing
Member

since 2009-07-27

Posts 73
Waverly, MN

8 posted 2009-08-04 02:33 PM

This is realy good others have taken most of the negative things already (lucky me) but I liked the topic and I want to thank you for the comments on my work i hope to read  ore from you in the future

          ,Best wishes
                ,Alex

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