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Open Poetry #45
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Suncleaver
Member
since 2009-01-18
Posts 481
Stafford England

0 posted 2009-07-26 06:11 AM


This hand that wounds to risk the sin,
And free the blood beneath the skin,
A trembling gasp of poisoned air,
That speaks of shame, and scars to bare.

A titan's frame, and angel's face,
Are burned and black with dark disgrace,
Another time, another breath,
That flees the howl of roaring death.

No comfort found in lover's eyes,
They pray for hope, but prayer dies,
A blazing trail, that swiftly charts
The forest of their broken hearts.

Their cries of anguish, cries of lust,
Their cries unheard, for all is dust,
By maker's hands that lay to waste,
And turn away in callous haste.

A starving rose, that never grows,
Though fed by twilight passion's throes,
Another breathless whispered name
Will ask for tears, they never came.

The hateful ring of shattered glass,
A scream of rage, a broken mass
Of manhood's flesh that wrath incurred,
The price of one malignant word.

A man who'll kiss his lover's eye,
And cradle softly, should she cry,
Can not be filled, can not be whole,
And no one hears his screaming soul.

An icy path, so cold and grey,
Is trod upon, day after day,
And leads to endless frozen slopes,
Where lie the bones of ancient hopes.


© Copyright 2009 Luke Doubtfire - All Rights Reserved
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
1 posted 2009-07-26 10:47 AM


Very well done, Suncleaver
Your pain is evident, your sentiment is heart breaking.

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2009-07-26 11:40 AM




this is very emotional, and such a strong write....

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
3 posted 2009-07-26 01:23 PM


A powerful piece, Suncleaver, and very well done. One feels the deep emotion here. I have read this several times and will read again.
                        Ida

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2009-07-27 04:29 AM


A well written love-lost poem. One can feel the deep heartache, the pain of misplaced emotions that spill over the tender edges of life.
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
5 posted 2009-07-27 06:17 AM


Only the hardest of hearts could read this and not be moved by this outpouring of deep despair.
Luke, you are a very fine writer who feels deeply and has the ability to covey those emotions to the reader.

May better days be ahead for you.


Linda

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
6 posted 2009-07-27 06:34 AM


quote:
An icy path, so cold and grey,
Is trod upon, day after day,
And leads to endless frozen slopes,
Where lie the bones of ancient hopes.



Incredibly powerful expression!

Your intensity involves the reader and the pain is felt deeply.

Love,
Margherita

GBride
Senior Member
since 2009-07-02
Posts 538

7 posted 2009-07-27 06:56 AM


A rich and rewarding read. Really, this is powerful stuff. I will be looking for more poems from you. Good Job Suncleaver.
D.Lester Young
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219
Austin, Tx
8 posted 2009-07-27 06:58 AM


The bending of words into springs of power with its sting of elocution.
A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
9 posted 2009-07-27 03:22 PM


I hope you overcome the struggle inside,even though we never got to meet in person,
I will always be your friend, as you wished, I know "These Lovers eyes in this poem were not about mine" for mine did care to comfort.....

Georginia would have loved the poem...

Hugs to you my friend!

~ARH

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