»
Main Forums
»
Teen Poetry #9
»
The Shadows of Life
| Teen Poetry #9 |
|
The Shadows of Life |
|
|
nehematala Member
since 2009-05-21
Posts 129 |
The wind blowing The sun shining Suddenly Cold like a grave yard The shadows of life surround me Not letting in a single ray of light Blinding me, Crippling me Pulling me in Its grip tighter and tighter Yarding me in every which way From my unstable roots Looking and laughing At me with my suitable grounds Telling me I can't Yet somehow I know there is a way to break free If only I stay strong I frantically yell for help But no one hears The shadows of life separate me If you don't like something, |
||
| © Copyright 2009 Michelle Lynn Barclay - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
kindredspirit Member
since 2009-05-19
Posts 156 |
i know the feeling. |
||
|
Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
LOL, i gotta say, kindred spirit, ur words were kinda ironic. "I know the feeling" AHAHA! Get it? cuz ur a "kindred" spirit? ahahha, cracks me up! Ahem...Sorry bout that. Anyway, um...nehematala, i liked how the beginning started of kinda neutral: "The wind blowing The sun shining" Gives both a sense of isolation, yet warmth at the same time. But "suddenly", the shadows seem to eclipse that very warmth, leaving just he cold. Those shadows even leave you small, vulnerable to the "yarding" (sounds like ur swept away by an intangible garden rake). Also, the speaker realizes that there's a way out, yet he (or she) remains trapped. At first, just cuz of the line "Cold like a graveyard", I imagined some poor soul getting dragged down by shadows in some cemetery. But thinking it over, it doesnt have to be literal. Doubt, worry, sorrow, even hate, are all effective at trapping a person. Often, there's a way out, but it can be difficult to do so, especially on one's lonesome. Hmm, good job! Poems that make me think differently or make me analyze a bit are pretty fun to read. Thanks! There is power in the pen. |
||
|
Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
very nice. the title fits well id say. i liked it alot. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
