the paintings of damnation

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nina1522
Member

since 2009-02-14

Posts 189

0 posted 2009-03-11 04:36 PM

not sure if it makes sense. oh well haha. its supposed to be how old experience
can mirror whats going now or in the future.

Uncertain memories filter my head
Challenging me to remember
Protesting me to forget.
Guiding me with yesterday's lies.
Painting the image of tomorrows damnation.

turtle
Senior Member

since 2009-01-23

Posts 548
Harbor

1 posted 2009-03-11 04:57 PM

Hi nina,

This is an improvement over "Shattered Glass", but you're right, it is not clear. Do you mean??

Uncertain memories (clog) my (mind);
Guiding me with yesterday's lies,
Painting the image of tomorrows damnation,
Challenging me to remember
(What I want) to forget.

OR:

Uncertain memories filter (through) my head;
Challenging me to remember,
(Yet) Protesting (that I) forget.
(I'm) (guided by) yesterday's lies
(That) (paint) the image of tomorrows damnation.

OR:........

nina1522
Member

since 2009-02-14

Posts 189

2 posted 2009-03-11 05:05 PM

hi turtle i think the first one.
this poem is about something i vaguely remember. at the time in which the experience was occuring it seemed normal (i was very young) but now that im older i can see what they did was completely wrong. this person i must see every so often. for they are in my family. so when i discovered this i realized their nice facade was fake. so i think the second one explains the circumstances better and more clearly.

but the first line ie think should be

"uncertian memories clog my mind"

i like that a lot better than my head

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

3 posted 2009-03-11 05:13 PM

I like this lots.

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you.

nina1522
Member

since 2009-02-14

Posts 189

4 posted 2009-03-11 05:20 PM

thanks

[This message has been edited by nina1522 (03-12-2009 03:19 PM).]

turtle
Senior Member

since 2009-01-23

Posts 548
Harbor

5 posted 2009-03-11 05:54 PM

Quote:
this poem is about something i vaguely remember. at the time in which the experience was occuring it seemed normal (i was very young) but now that im older i can see what they did was completely wrong. this person i must see every so often. for they are in my family.

This is so sad.....and explains what I have been wondering, about the messages in your writing.
Sweety, nothing in whatever has happened is your fault and there is no reason that it should not seem
normal to a child. This is probably what bothers you more than anything and it would be normal to blame
yourself, but you are clearly a bright young woman and I know you can overcome this. Keep
writing nina. It helps.

..........So does Basketball, volleyball, and Lacrosse.

nina1522
Member

since 2009-02-14

Posts 189

6 posted 2009-03-11 06:44 PM

thank you turtle very much that means a lot. writing allows me to let go of the built up emotions. it allows me to tell my story when not even the people closest to me dont know about. thank you very much.

[This message has been edited by nina1522 (03-12-2009 06:24 AM).]

nina1522
Member

since 2009-02-14

Posts 189

7 posted 2009-03-14 02:33 PM

i just realized i meant...

Protesting me not to forget.

isabella223
Junior Member

since 2009-03-14

Posts 16

8 posted 2009-03-14 03:34 PM

yeah but i like how turtle says it more.

[This message has been edited by isabella223 (03-14-2009 04:30 PM).]

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