Five Years Ago and Still.... (rp)

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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2008-09-05 06:59 AM

The Great Pretender

As I disassemble feelings
pointless in an empty sky,
the randomness of emotions
brings me into a helter-skelter world.

My thoughts erractic, my goals off course
waiting now for the inevitable,
tired of the unreliable, wishing
for the stability to return.

It's like being flocked,
cushioned with a softness
but knowing how easily it peels off
revealing the underlay beneath,
the support needed but not able to get through.

So I pretend, go on a mind cruise
feigning an adventure, believing somehow
that the fast beating of my heart
is not of anxiety
but of a quest for happiness.

I'd redo my life, if chance came my way.
I'd be less apprehensive and would abandon my fears,
be impulsive and be able to say later,
that I have experienced it all,
be more like my sister...no regrets
just memories captured, journaled
forever in my mind.

M

* remembering the strength of my ill sister who made the most of her life, as I look in the mirror and notice more of her in me. (Written in 2003, a year before her passing of cancer.)
M

TheAnonDavid
Member

since 2008-08-28

Posts 237
UK

1 posted 2008-09-05 10:32 AM

This is a touching 'in memoriam' to your sister. I am sure that you will encompass her spirit in your future life; the fact that you are now able to write this poem shows that.
Enjoy the memories; enjoy all those tomorrows.

Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Dylan Thomas

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

2 posted 2008-09-05 02:29 PM

This reminds me of my daughter, who it would seem, was much like your sister. She also passed away with cancer (in 2000)
Perhaps they intuitively knew that they had to live life while they could.
Ida

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

3 posted 2008-09-05 04:20 PM

M,

Every one of us has an obligation to do the best with what we have.

Love Bobby

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

4 posted 2008-09-05 06:14 PM

quote:
So I pretend, go on a mind cruise
feigning an adventure, believing somehow
that the fast beating of my heart
is not of anxiety
but of a quest for happiness.

and that is a good idea, dear Maureen. This is very poignant and I think your sister is trying to steer you into the right direction.

Beautifully done.

Love,
Margherita

MsMelissaMae
Junior Member

since 2008-08-28

Posts 26
Indianola, Iowa

5 posted 2008-09-05 08:08 PM

This poem touched me deeply...I have had many in my family die within the past five years of cancer...and each of them showed a spirit I can only hope to own. Lovely write...truelly lovely.

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

6 posted 2008-09-07 08:15 AM

written with elegance and wisdom

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