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Open Poetry #41
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Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2007-08-22 01:50 PM


Disappearing down
Diluted memories
And chilled
Empty bottles,
Him, the bartender
Me, the barstool baroness-
Royalty, confused.

"What is it you scribble down?"
The words, his melting chocolate song
Pouring substance and-
Such sustenance
It all just beams with elegance,
I tip the glass to my lips
And smile

“I’m saving all my words for you,”
For sometime,
when this crowded room
Will empty out, the lights turned up
And we will dance, we'll make it up
To the sound of the jukebox
Playing Dixieland and smoke

I pause, to take another drink,
His eyebrow cocked,
And raised, in wait,
And watch him lick his lips, again
A symbol to continue, and-
He wipes the towel across the bar,
Like he's got all the time

And here, I smile wickedly,
A grin of impropriety,
A pause to hide my eagerness
I try to keep it cool,
Nodding for another drink,
Buying a little time to think-
And swallow the lump in my throat,

I say
“For when you light a cigarette,
And lean against the wall, again,
And smile,
like that time you meant it,
Then I’ll tell it all,
Everything you want to know.”

For now,
He'll slide a glass to me,
Lean on his elbows constantly,
Trying to catch a glimpse
Of the words I scribble down,
The confused barstool baroness,
With an ever-twisted crown.
  
  
  
[Impromtu and not thought out, as always.]

© Copyright 2007 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
1 posted 2007-08-22 01:54 PM


i like it very much

but this is my fav part...

“I’m saving all my words for you,”


for i know it well

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
2 posted 2007-08-22 02:06 PM


A bartender and a beach...

good times.



Lovely snapshot...

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

3 posted 2007-08-22 03:19 PM


I say
“For when you light a cigarette,
And lean against the wall, again,
And smile,
like that time you meant it,
Then I’ll tell it all,
Everything you want to know.”

For now,
He'll slide a glass to me,
Lean on his elbows constantly,
Trying to catch a glimpse
Of the words I scribble down,
The confused barstool baroness,
With an ever-twisted crown.


well, for something not thought out...it was so touching, heartwarming and seemed thought out...it was like taking a long long look at life's hours of waking moments...love...

incredible write

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2007-08-22 06:42 PM


Me thinks you think more than you think you do. (Warning--that will get noisy when you hit forty. )

You are a natural poet, lady. When you wipe your mouth, there must be verses on the napkin, because poetry spills out of you.

You brought me there, and I felt the atmosphere, the cool dark, the jazz, and now I am craving a "salty dog".

ooooh...

Let's make that a date!

You are always a delight to read.

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
5 posted 2007-08-23 04:07 AM


Thanks everybody.
I don't know if it matters
if I save all of my words.
The bottle's empty.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
6 posted 2007-08-23 06:16 AM


ms Allysa, I have painted a thousand bars
with penspeak..

sometimes I still hear the words
as I ride by on the black itch

above her thunder

kewl stuff ms

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