Not Sure What to Say (Tanka Quartet)

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Open Poetry #41

Not Sure What to Say (Tanka Quartet)

gwaihir
Member

since 2007-07-20

Posts 58
Sub-tropical, USA

0 posted 2007-07-28 09:08 AM

Not sure what to say.
Well, maybe…sometime…Goodbye.
Then I closed the door,
deep breath in, sigh of relief.
It was a close call this time.

Would have been easy
just to say yes, fall again.
Falling is fun, but
hard landings hurt, so I said
“It’s late and I should get home.”

A narrow escape.
Just right words spoken, hungry
eyes betrayed the words.
Too big smile, like a wolf’s grin,
sheep’s clothing didn’t fool me.

Not this time. Even
though he tried hard, came real close.
But close only counts
with shotguns.  Guarded heart knows,
maybe…sometime…means never.

Author's note:
See also the view from the other side of the door in Bronzeage's "No Where Else to Go".

Bronzeage
Member

since 2007-07-20

Posts 197

1 posted 2007-07-28 09:52 AM

Very Gw, We need more responsive pieces.

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant

since 2006-11-07

Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !

2 posted 2007-07-28 10:22 AM

very 'real', effective (narrative) 'write'!

applause!!

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

3 posted 2007-07-28 12:10 PM

Enjoyed this read.
Nicely done.

gwaihir
Member

since 2007-07-20

Posts 58
Sub-tropical, USA

4 posted 2007-07-28 02:26 PM

BA:  Response pieces can be tricky.  I am pleased with the way this one turned out.

shdp:  Thanks for the comments.  As you can see, I use ellipses sometimes too.

TD:  Thanks for letting me know you stopped by.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

5 posted 2007-07-29 06:44 PM

Wonderful...James

BBGrrl
Member

since 2007-07-17

Posts 181
BC, Canada

6 posted 2007-07-30 12:51 PM

I see you. *wink*

poeticdestiny
Junior Member

since 2007-07-29

Posts 19
Georgia

7 posted 2007-07-30 08:22 PM

Wonderfully written. I enjoyed reading this, and look forward to reading much more of your work.

gwaihir
Member

since 2007-07-20

Posts 58
Sub-tropical, USA

8 posted 2007-07-31 07:43 PM

James: Thanks for commenting.

BBG: Winking back at ya.

pd: Thanks for the welcome. I look forward to posting more.

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