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Open Poetry #41
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GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought

0 posted 2007-12-07 09:00 PM



Staring at death again;
at the way it clutches my loves.
Again it is cold, active and alive.

I eat grief. Swallow whole the sorrow.
Choke on emptiness.
And nothing matters now.
Again it all swirls into black and
grey, and lonely, lonely nights.
Where is your face? And will I
say goodbye before your blood slows?
Will I feel you, cooling beneath my fingertips,
or is this all there is? Memories,
miles,
and death
between our eyes...

Hupomeno.

© Copyright 2007 GG - All Rights Reserved
Mike Montana
New Member
since 2007-10-17
Posts 8
Maryland
1 posted 2007-12-07 11:08 PM


Nice piece, in so short words of expressing the meaning... unique.
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
2 posted 2007-12-08 02:12 AM


I have known this sorrow, GG. Sending you a special hug.
                                   Ida

Gumpy
Member
since 2007-11-06
Posts 143
Canada
3 posted 2007-12-08 04:00 AM


A very nice piece.
I enjoyed reading.
Gumpy

How is it that after your heart is ripped out, you feel so much?

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
4 posted 2007-12-08 08:02 AM


Alyssa~~

I get excited when I see you have posted...you are a true poet and intellect.  

I love this for it's dark, horrific truth.  

You wrote what my child have felt this year.  A hard, horrible lesson to learn so young.  

big

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho
5 posted 2007-12-08 06:15 PM


"Memories,
miles,
and death
between our eyes..."

I am here, reading this poem again, and still wondering what to say.  I read it two ways, and have been in both places.  You have attacked a deep subject (or two) with much skill, calling forth great emotion in me.  This is a good thing, like the color black - how it enriches a painting with contrast.  Life.


Devious Intellectual
Member
since 2006-05-08
Posts 112

6 posted 2007-12-08 06:21 PM


I like how it was short and powerful.  I havent had to deal with this much but after reading that i almost caught the feeling
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
7 posted 2007-12-08 06:22 PM


GG-

Much enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

Lincoln
Member
since 2007-12-03
Posts 62
Earth
8 posted 2007-12-08 06:22 PM


It was truly enjoyed, read it more than once, and i have to say it was moving.

"When your deepest thoughts are broken, keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreaming it's time to die." -Shannon Hoon

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
9 posted 2007-12-09 12:27 PM



.


The pink of your breath
tells us you are dying.
We have seen death enough
to know this.

On to the front again this morning,
one of our convoy has struck you,
along the road ending it all,
but for these moments
with wide brown eyes.

The pain is gone except the terror.
Trying afraid to live forever,
at least a little,
what time remains.

Experience for going on.

There are defenses, and tactics,
a war to be won.
But I leave the driver
watching and talking to my uniforms,
unnoticed,
they worn so often
no one will know I'm not inside.

And walk away to be beside you.
Not running, returning slow,
knowing I can not save you.

But for a while,
I stroke your hair
the way of an absent lover.
Through words strange, in calm tones
begin a fire for it is cold.

Together,
dying, and living
for awhile, await another soldier.

A foe, yet still,
knowing the darkness is but his sadness,
sharing my courage we let him come

to sit in quiet,
respect my hand
soothing your fear in the growing night,


until it is time

to sleep.


........

John

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
10 posted 2007-12-09 01:44 AM


GG darlin', this is heart wrenching and I certainly hear your cry out in the dark....my thoughts and prayers are with you.   ....jo

[This message has been edited by iliana (12-09-2007 08:15 PM).]

Angel4aKing
Senior Member
since 2006-09-27
Posts 1372
USA
11 posted 2007-12-09 01:54 AM


death is when you say "finally I get to let go at last and pray for the ones that don't know how".....sometimes it is when we are alive that we are most in the dark....

~~~kingsangel~~~

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
12 posted 2007-12-09 01:58 AM


GG, came back to read it again and pass along another hug.  

Also, I'm impressed with Huan Yi's compassionate and moving post.

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
13 posted 2007-12-09 05:28 AM


GG: achingly beautiful...RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
14 posted 2007-12-10 06:31 PM


Mike,
thank you. I'll take 'unique' any day!

Ida,
I am so sorry that you have. But glad, nonethless, that it allows us to share something. Thank you for the reply. Hugs to you.

Gumpy,
thnk you much for your kind reply

~Alyssa

Hupomeno.

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
15 posted 2007-12-10 06:54 PM


Susan,
wow! Thank you. What a huge compliment. This is something that no one should have to feel. Sadly, many do. Thanks again

Rosemary,
This endeavor, for me, was hardly a work of poetry, instead it was just a way to release the truth and the sadness of the situation. For me, it is about the death of my grandfather and not being able to be with him. But it can mean anything to anyone, and I am always surprised and glad when someone else finds meaning in it as well. thank you for your reply.

~alyssa

Hupomeno.

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
16 posted 2007-12-10 06:57 PM


Devious,
I hope that life brings you little of this. Thanks you so much for your reply and kind words.

Arctic Wind,
I'm glad thank you.

~alyssa

Hupomeno.

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
17 posted 2007-12-10 07:02 PM


Lincoln,
I am honored that my few words would move anyone. Thank you much

Huan Yi,
Wow... I always love your work. And this piece is awesome. It should be posted, it deserves much more than it will recieve under my little poem. I'm not sure what all to say but thank you... really.

~alyssa

Hupomeno.

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
18 posted 2007-12-10 07:10 PM


jo,
Thank you. But I should say here that this was actually written last year. I tried to get out to Cali to visit my grandfather but couldn't because of migraines and work.I knew he was dying and wrote this poem, still hoping I'd be able to see him before he passed. He died the next week, a few hunded miles away. I really haven't been able to write much since then. Anyway, thank you for you words of compassion. You are so appreciated ...

Angel,
death is a lot of things, but yes, it is definitely the living who suffer from it. Thank you for your reply good to meet you.

~alyssa

Hupomeno.

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
19 posted 2007-12-10 07:13 PM


jo,
I know, wasn't John's reply amazing?
Thank you for the hug ...backatcha.

Roniece,
Thank you very much means a lot.

~alyssa

Hupomeno.

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