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Open Poetry #41
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Mister can you spare a dime?
| Open Poetry #41 |
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Mister can you spare a dime? |
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TinaTrivett Senior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 569
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When it all came crashing down Dust storms were pushing me back East Heavy dark clouds have been hovering Like being at the bottom of a black pond Mister can you spare a dime? A hot meal is mothers milk Manna comes with many faces A squeaky screen door or A boxcar full of toothless grins Mister can you spare a dime? |
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| © Copyright 2007 Tina Trivett - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
My but I felt the pain in this poem. The picture you painted was very sombre, and very good. |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Lovely, though sad, but brave and noble. I was sorry when it came to an end. My favourite lines (combined for both image and content) are: "Manna comes in many faces . . . A boxcar of toothless grins" - Owl |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"When it all came crashing down Dust storms were pushing me back East" You grabbed my attention ~ and solar plexus! ~ right from the get-go!  EA |
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TinaTrivett Senior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 569 |
Thanks all.  Does anyone know how to add an image to the poems? Thanks. |
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TinaTrivett Senior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 569 |
OwlSA...I've been thinking about what you said about not wanting it to end. When I wrote this, I didn't feel like it was complete. I think there is supposed to be more to it. I'm gonna work on that. *wink* Thanks. |
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TinaTrivett Senior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 569 |
New Version ********************* When it all came crashing down Dust storms were pushing me back East Heavy dark clouds have been hovering Like being at the bottom of a black pond Mister can you spare a dime? A hot meal is mothers milk Manna comes with many faces A squeaky screen door or A boxcar full of toothless grins Mister can you spare a dime? The provider can't provide But not for lack of trying Soles wore thin and made of cardboard Heart wore thin and made of lead Mister can you spare a dime? A lover waits through old lace curtains A Father lies beneath the ground Old church hymnal is barely breathing Growling and gnarling sound from within Mister can you spare a dime? Hands calloused and legs numb A thousand miles and a thousand lifetimes ago I walk in the valley of death Pride is but a memory Mister can you spare a dime? |
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