The Joys Of A Vasectomy

A short while back I shared a drink while visiting with friends
One had planned a vasectomy and questioned how it ends
Of course the usual horror stories quickly began to rise
And you could see the fear begin to grow in our friend’s eyes

One buddy in our group had a horrendous tale to tell
Of how his trip under the knife had been a living hell
His tale was uneventful as he told us of his trip
But the story after he got home caused us to bite our lip

He claimed the anesthetic made him really feel no pain
So arriving home he did yard work much to his wife’s disdain
While watering the shrubs his hose somehow got in a tangle
He couldn’t see the problem from his shrub blocked viewing angle

Our buddy gave the hose a yank as his wife came out to watch
As a tangled coil of hose came loose and hit him in the crotch
Suffice to say the yard work was all finished for the day
Our buddy’s wife helped him inside and into bed to stay

Now, for those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of this sport
You're advised to wear a jockey strap to help give some support
So as our friend was lying there recovering from the hose
The bathroom called, so in he went upon his tippytoes

He tenderly pulled down the strap using a careful hand
When it slipped from his grip just like a giant rubber band
Now you can guess exactly where the popping strap did hit him
But worse than that the toilet lid then fell and really bit 'em

Our poor ole buddy staggered back and grabbed the shower curtain
It pulled free and then what happened next he isn’t certain
His wife heard the commotion and came running down the hall
She found her hubby in the tub curled up into aball

Only in our nightmares are there tortures such as these
That cause a man to crawl to bed on just his hands and knees
Now we do not consider our good friend to be a wimp
But now we know the reason why he walks with a slight limp