At first I had to assure myself,
comfort and aware myself that,
The man I hoped and longed for
wasn't and wouldn't never be there.
I pray and pray everyday
for violent winds and storms
to go away
praying and wishing that your okay
and isn't shooting up heroin
and smoking crack everyday.
I feel as though your presence is fading
your slowly passing away.
Your absence causes my violent actions
and that leads people to the
misconceptions of not trusting me,
befriending and loving me.
I took it as a sign when I sat and
silently cried
for no apparent reason
so I am believing... that your
rapidly but slowly reaching
of where you want to be.
I am hoping that since
you can't see me,
you hear me
and listening to what I say
I was frowning but I'm smiling
and everything is okay
And lets make a promise this day
of the day God decides to call you home
you'll stand aside the heaven gates
and for me you promise to wait
The cuts and bruises on my spirit
are healing
The opens wounds on my
hopes and dreams...
are sealing,
and hole in my heart of your absence
is slowly filling.
And as I look up at the sky,
I come over a calm feeling
that soon you'll be leaving.
Your far but I can hear your shouts,
your yells, and your screams
calling my name on a gentle breeze
It's okay that you weren't there
for me daddy
But I accept your apology.