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Open Poetry #40
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music_is_my_soul
Junior Member
since 2007-04-07
Posts 18
MA, USA

0 posted 2007-04-07 03:12 PM


A shrill scream out in the distance
Your head whips up in fear
In an instant you’re at the door
Listening most sincere
You dash down your driveway in a rush
To see if you can help
As you come to the end of the street
You give an unwilling yelp
The children are coming running
From houses all around
Then you see the pink and white truck
The ice cream man’s in town!


I love critique! please, does this sound like a good poem?

I'm the kind-a human wrecakge that ya love!
~Gerard Way

© Copyright 2007 Musica Izma Soul - All Rights Reserved
Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
1 posted 2007-04-07 03:24 PM


there you get it. welcome!
Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
2 posted 2007-04-07 03:54 PM


This poem got my attention and made me laugh...I love poetry that makes me respond to it and this one has...Well done...*Big Hugs*
music_is_my_soul
Junior Member
since 2007-04-07
Posts 18
MA, USA
3 posted 2007-04-07 04:44 PM


THANX A BUNCH!

I'm the kind-a human wrecakge that ya love!
~Gerard Way

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
4 posted 2007-04-07 04:52 PM


very cute...I remember those days. We don't have an ice cream truck/man around here.

M

music_is_my_soul
Junior Member
since 2007-04-07
Posts 18
MA, USA
5 posted 2007-04-07 04:53 PM


actually, i was thinking about when I was like 7, and this ice cream man gave me free ice cream.

I'm the kind-a human wrecakge that ya love!
~Gerard Way

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
6 posted 2007-04-07 05:10 PM


Excellent.You kept everyones's attention.

martyjo

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2007-04-08 05:28 AM


I haven't seen the ice cream truck in years

thanks for the giggle and the memory

TerryW
Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779
Louisville, Mississippi, USA
8 posted 2007-04-08 09:43 AM


Great!!  This is an excellent piece.  Thanks for making me wake up to a good laugh this morning!!

And, since I haven't had a chance to say it yet, welcome to Passions!!!

~Terry

~you reached inside, you touched my heart,
and I am all the better for it~
Terry A. Woodson, Jr.

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