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Jaime's Latest Hair Brained Scheme to fix the World
| Open Poetry #40 |
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Jaime's Latest Hair Brained Scheme to fix the World |
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Jaime Fradera Senior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 843Where no tyranny is tolerable |
Jaime's latest hair brained scheme to fix the world By abolishing Monday ... Everybody hates Monday so why not just get rid of it? Maybe, if we just got rid of Monday, everything would be alright. Everybody knows there are more heart attacks on Monday. everybody knows there are more accidents on Monday. This contention is easily supported by by statistics put out by the government, data which I am too lazy to cite or even look up because right now it is Wednesday. But anyway ... ... Everybody knows there is more traffic on Monday. And you don't even half to look that up! (well maybe only half of us do) There are even more marriages on Monday. Well, okay, I haven't checked with many churches ... There are more of everythings that happen on Monday. Just think of the countless countless lives that could be saved, the tremendous benefits to society if we just got rid of Monday. Even if killing Monday saved one life wouldn't it be worth it? And think of the advantages! You wouldn't have to come to work on Monday, just be there the next day. This would eliminate traffic jams, cause less pollution and help create global cooling. This in turn would save us all on air conditioning. And think of the havoc this could wreak on Santa and his Christmas schedule. On years where Christmas Day fell on a Monday, (well I never heard a day when Christmas fell) We would still have Christmas Eve but there would be no Christmas. Maybe next year. And on years where Christmas Eve fell on a a Monday, (doesn't it say in the Bible that Eve fell) although there would be Christmas, there would be no Christmas Eve. (this means Eve would not have fallen and Adam would have got no Adam's apple) Maybe next year... And on years where the forth of July fell on Monday (did the fourth really fall? I thought it was Yorktown) Although there would be a 3rd and 5th ... ... Maybe next year. ... In Canada they don't have a 4th of July on any day of the week. Canada does have July 1, but we don't have July 1 here. (if we could get the Canadian Government to abolish Monday, ... Maybe the conservatives could write up the legislation. Of course, Harper might oppose it, But ... but ... O well, you just can't always have everything. Eh Mysteries ... Eh Star time ... Eh ...) And what about Memorial day? Well, that's here in this country. Over there they have one called boxing Day. What what could that be? ... Something with Mohamed Ali? Well, so anyway ... I was talking about Monday ... And just think what would happen if you had an assignment that was due on Monday. Wouldn't that be great? And what about the all knowing, all seeing all caring, ma ha rushee, sitting in his Attila the Hun chair, who claims to be having more human being than a fun should be allowed to have, and who suffers from chronic running of the mouth, Why, we wouldn't have to listen to him on Monday. Wouldn't that be great? And all the awful things that happened on a Monday, like for example the Mamas and the Papas ... would not have happened at all. Then in Los angeles they might be singing Tuesday Tuesday. Aren't you glad this isn't Monday? Aren't you glad you aren't reading this on Monday? Everybody hates Monday. So why not just get rid of it. Maybe if we just got rid of Monday ... Jaime's next scheme to fix the world will be to get rid of rush hour. That way, you wouldn't have to come home. You wouldn't have to see your husband. He doesn't understand you anyway. Jaime's next great project will be to do something about furniture. Everybody hates moving furniture, so why not just throw it out the window! It's okay; we could keep our clothes in suitcases. Our clothes ... (They turn off the juice to the electro convulsive shock device) AAAaaaaaaaAaAAaAAAAaAaaAAAAAaAaAaAAaAQAAaAaaaAAAAAAAaaAA!!!! ... ... ... Nurse! ... ... Nurse! ... ... Ha ... ha ... how did I get here? ... ... ... ... This write was "inspired" by my dead friend Mark Twain, who no doubt must have hated Monday, given that he had so much creative work to do, such as writing huk Fin, and everything. And everything terrible that happened on a Monday, Floating in the tropopause southern Cross (So this is what you sit around and do all day? .. It's like, don't you work or anything? ...) |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Jaime, you are in need of serious help. I've set up an appointment for you with your shrink next Monday!  |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
I heartily vote for said abolition of (Black) "Mung-days"! [reading this 'write' did me a great deal of good!] Applause! |
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Aurelian Member
since 2007-03-20
Posts 109TX, USA |
You write up the language - I'll see it through congress - makes more sense than most of the things they do to try and save the world! lol. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
What a riot you are! I am chuckling here. Of course I am, because it's Wednesday! Jaime, did I ever tell you that YOU make more sense than 90% of our elected officials? Don't let this compliment go to your head though or they'll make you work on MONDAY ! Hey, maybe make every day Saturday? [This message has been edited by Midnitesun (03-29-2007 11:18 AM).] |
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ArtSolstice Member
since 2007-03-18
Posts 498 |
Jaime, this writing is a delight! Of course, I am also happy that today is not Monday... but according to your proposal, today is mid-week. What a pleasure to read this entry! |
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