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Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

0 posted 2007-06-02 05:47 PM

(Every seventeen years regionally across the eastern United States, cicada invasions prove to be just as American as apple pie, and this year Brood XIII is comin' to your town if you live in Illinois, Iowa, Indiana, Michigan or Wisconsin!

I only experienced one cicada invasion throughout my life thus far, and that was when I was six, when Brood XXIII swept throughout southeastern Missouri, southern Illinois and western Tennessee, LOL! (giggles) Living in the western United States now, I'm now far away from their habitat, but that bizarre memory still sticks with me always!

So here's a special novelty song I wrote in honor of this 17-year sensation, which has become an unlikely American summer staple! (giggles) )

*

Zenaida the Magicicada
By: Noah Eaton
6/1/07
.
.
.
...brooding at June’s prelude,
when the soil temperature reaches 64 degrees,
a mysterious red-eyed nymph climbs vertically,
from her underground lair up the yellow buckeye tree,
our living hair curl and sleeping bag buddy,
enacting her first mischievous marathon in 17 years,
levying en masse across the sassy sassafras,
pruning the wide forest floor frontier...
.
.
(...tick tick tick tick tick...)
.
.
you know who she is…
.
.
.
Zenaida the Magicicada!
(Tick tick tick tick tick zzzzzzzzt!)
Zenaida the Magicicada!
(Stirring up cicada arcadia!)
Zenaida the Magicicada!
(Zzt zzt zzt zzt zzt zzt tick tick tick!)
Zenaida the Magicicada!
(Stirring up early summer mania!)

(Phaaaaa-roh!)

So there I was, having a picnic in the park,
right up there on Occoneechee Mountain,
relishing the sarsaparilla and sweet pinesap,
and silvery checkspots drinking from the fountains,
then suddenly I see the lord of the tree rings,
dive like Pat McCormick into my black bean dip,
it sure weren’t no wasp or dragonfly,
and you better believe it weren’t no katydid.

Then I hear, cranking up at ninety-two decibels,
an ominous mating call I wouldn’t consider flattering,
it sounded like the Kobayashi Maru,
on a Weed Whacker’s battery,
then this cacophonous curmudgeon,
flitters in at the speed of stealth,
with bulging red eyes and translucent wings,
and a capellas that can strike quite a welp.

That whirring wastrel landed on my ice cream cone,
she must have summoned a riveting inquisition,
cuz next thing I knew hundreds went for the gravy boat,
I said, “Hey, what’s your imposition?”

And she said:

(I’m Zenaida the Magicicada,
the Methuselamama of the insect world!
I perform the last note on every lyre,
and let all the rare good times unfurl!
I’m the big shot wedding crasher,
I whip up hypnotic trance at every glance,
and this summer me and my dog day drove,
are kicking off a killer Sadie Hawkins dance!)

(Phaaaaa-roh!)

Zenaida the Magicicada!
(Tick tick tick tick tick zzzzzzzzt!)
Zenaida the Magicicada!
(Stirring up cicada arcadia!)
Zenaida the Magicicada!
(Zzt zzt zzt zzt zzt zzt tick tick tick!)
Zenaida the Magicicada!
(Stirring up early summer mania!)
.
.
.
(What’s underground comes aground, y’all,
don’t be a hatah, love you a cicada,
effective magic is transcendent nature,
don’t you wanna be cicada’d!)

(Phaaaaa-roh!)

For days they decorated the lampposts,
and invaded each and every double-wide,
they crawled across my driveway like nightcrawlers,
garrisoning the whole South Side,
they even took over the local radio market,
conducting the Emergency Broadcast System,
effective magic may be transcendent nature,
but to their curse all nature had succumbed.

Five and a half weeks passed by, they still partied hard,
nimble tymbals whirring on and off like a Liederkranz,
I couldn’t even hear myself think anymore,
flaunting and haunting on my daily jaunt,
then one early July afternoon on the evening news,
I saw a reporter give a cicada a finger-lickin’ smack,
He said, “This low-carb predator’s favorite,
is high in protein but low in fat!”

(Ha ha ha!)

So me and my buddies went on the offensive,
in our Cicada Chuck Wagon communion,
til’ Zenaida summoned her piercing palatines back underground.
saying, “See y’all at the 2021 reunion!”

(Phaaaaa-roh!)

Zenaida the Magicicada!
(Tick tick tick tick tick zzzzzzzzt!)
Zenaida the Magicicada!
(Stirring up cicada arcadia!)
Zenaida the Magicicada!
(Zzt zzt zzt zzt zzt zzt tick tick tick!)
Zenaida the Magicicada!
(Stirring up early summer mania!)

Zenaida the Magicicada!
(Tick tick tick tick tick zzzzzzzzt!)
Zenaida the Magicicada!
(Stirring up cicada arcadia!)
Zenaida the Magicicada!
(Zzt zzt zzt zzt zzt zzt tick tick tick!)
Zenaida the Magicicada!
(Stirring up early summer mania!)

(Have eggs, will travel!)

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other"

Mother Teresa

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (06-02-2007 09:35 PM).]

gmcooper
Junior Member

since 2007-05-30

Posts 47

1 posted 2007-06-03 11:24 AM

Noah---unbelievable. I loved Spiderman. I love this. Thanks for posting.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

2 posted 2007-06-04 05:00 AM

I'm waiting for the movie "Monkeys On A Plane"...James

Ringo

Member Elite

since 2003-02-20

Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes

3 posted 2007-06-04 08:43 AM

Noah, my friend, I want you to remember one small, little fact...

The men in the white coats are your friends and are there to help you.

This is yet another fine piece of work from one of PIP's finest.

What would you attempt to do...if you knew you could not fail?.
www.myspace.com/mindlesspoet

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

4 posted 2007-06-09 07:51 AM

~ "The lord of the tree rings" lol lol lol

~ "Then I hear, cranking up at ninety-two decibels,
an ominous mating call I wouldn’t consider flattering,
it sounded like the Kobayashi Maru,
on a Weed Whacker’s battery,
then this cacophonous curmudgeon,
flitters in at the speed of stealth,
with bulging red eyes and translucent wings,
and a capellas that can strike quite a welp."

~ Descriptive writing at its best!!!

Noah Angel, I loved it! This was brilliant, informative, and highly entertaining!

(Phaaaaa-roh!)

Linda

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

5 posted 2007-06-09 11:25 AM

WOW! A bug never had such wonderful story telling before Noah!

I actually love hearing these on a hot summer day. It's the definite sign of good weather around here. I can't say I'd want hundreds of them around singing all at once though, lol.

Wonderful to read you again, my friend.

Best wishes and hugs,
/Kit

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