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Open Poetry #40
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dingusjr
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since 2003-09-24
Posts 415
Missouri

0 posted 2007-02-25 07:43 AM



They are like lovers, these two,
always hanging around together.
He a handsome brown, she a baby blue.

He tells her funny stories,
holds her close and whispers softly.
She sighs and leans toward him
leaving traces of perfume on his collar.

She puts her hand in his pocket
and smiles a seductive smile.
Their lives are an endless stream
of gentle hugs and close kisses.

Unfortunately,
they seldom go out together,
these coats of brown and blue.

Their owners have stopped speaking
and sleep in seperate rooms,
unaware of the closet love affair.



© Copyright 2007 Larry W. Allen - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2007-02-25 09:20 AM


Larry~
SO good to see you posting~

There is always something so REAL that touches through your thoughts~

Reminds me that Spring is just around the corner and I've got some brown/blues to hang in the sunshine~

How talented you are~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -             noles1@totcon.com

dingusjr
Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 415
Missouri
2 posted 2007-02-25 09:37 AM


Thanks Marge.  How do you like the removal of the line that tells you they are coats?
Anyone else have an opinion?

Janette
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since 2001-07-20
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Chicagoland for now
3 posted 2007-02-25 09:39 AM


You got me ... !

" ... these coats of brown and blue ..."

This piece intrigued me and definitely caught me by surprise.

Enjoyed.

always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
4 posted 2007-02-25 10:46 AM


very creative


Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2007-02-25 11:36 AM


Larry~
Effective !!!
I had already 'gotten it' without being told~

Like I said ... that's what a good writer does ... and you did it so well~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -             noles1@totcon.com

steavenr
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since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

6 posted 2007-02-25 08:32 PM


excellent write, you lead the reader well...enjoyed
Ratleader
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Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
7 posted 2007-03-05 11:11 PM


I see them, I see them!  

....and I feel them. The pathos of this is like a sneaky-fast pitcher....never throws ~hard~ but suddenly the ball's by you and you haven't even thought about swinging yet.....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
8 posted 2007-03-06 02:10 AM


This is so wonderful - I like it with the coats and think it would work well without the line too.  You have me wondering what is happening in my closet!

A

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