(Help a girl out with a title?)

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WaterFairy103
Member

since 2006-05-31

Posts 196

0 posted 2007-06-14 01:07 AM

~I have no idea what to make the title, so if anyone has any suggestions, they're welcomed with open arms~

When my heart feels like it’s being ripped out,
I’d rather just put on a shirt.
When I feel like breaking down into tears,
I’ll smile and hide all the hurt.
Because I know that no one sees the pain in my eyes,
And that’s all right with me.
I’d rather be helping someone else,
I just don’t think anyone can help me.

I’m not conceited or selfish,
I don’t think my problems are worse.
But if it comes between me or a friend,
She’s going to get help first.
I’m not bitter, and I don’t feel ashamed,
But all the times that I’ve reached for help.
Somehow I’ve always disappointed them,
It’s just easier to keep it to myself.

You don’t have to tell me, I already know
It’s not healthy, it’s not right.
But if it means that I don’t bother someone,
I’d rather just cry late at night.
I’m telling you this because I need help now,
It may be the only time I ever ask.
Because now I’m hurting beyond recognition,
And I’m finally dropping the mask.

I've stopped fighting my inner demons... we're on the same side now.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2007-06-14 01:19 AM

Wow this was amazing. If you ever ever need someone to talk to you can just email me. I'll be here for you. It's great you are such a good friend but sometimes you need to let them be a friend too.
hunnie.

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 1062
In Love <3

2 posted 2007-06-14 07:01 AM

how about "hidden in hurt". has that flow going on in it. lol. just a sugesstion.

-Red

I stuck my bare hand into your rip cage and fished around until I found your heart ripped it out tore it apart while saying You dont need this anymore

surf_painter
Member

since 2007-04-10

Posts 434
Canada

3 posted 2007-06-14 07:35 AM

i like this poem alot and for the title how about "the mirror is smashed" just for a suggestion of what to call it

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

4 posted 2007-06-14 04:40 PM

Revealed for a title

You can always email me took, italiagirl12@gmail.com
Great poem, very well written . You are one of my favorite writers here, your very talented

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

5 posted 2007-06-14 08:31 PM

waterfairy....i loved this piece of yours. i want to tell you why.

first i loved the flow(who would have guessed that was coming? but anyways) second i really liked the meaning of the words and of how nothing was forced out. your words just blended together. third i absolutely was astounded at the depth in the piece. the thoughts and concerns and feelings just overwelmed me.

as for the title.....well.... when i name a piec of mine. i always like to name them in reference to the way i feel about the message or rather the meaning of the poem. and when i was reading this i thought of "you before me".

this part was the real inspiration for it

I’m not conceited or selfish,
I don’t think my problems are worse.
But if it comes between me or a friend,
She’s going to get help first.

of course, this is just my oppinion.

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