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Teen Poetry #8
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Tempest
Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

0 posted 2006-10-24 04:33 PM



i was walking down a winding road
with no end in sight
no one was there to help me
to determine wrong from right

i felt my own way around
living on my own
running from my fears
living to get stoned

every single day
i wondered when id die
if i would find someone to care
id pray to the empty sky

one day it was almost over
i saw the face of death
i knew id done too much
my life was one big mess

one bottle of jack
ten hits of extacy
one joint too many
that was the night that i o.d.'ed      (overdosed)

this is my story
take my advice
dont try to be like me
value your life


© Copyright 2006 Bryan Girton - All Rights Reserved
Tempest
Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!
1 posted 2006-10-24 04:39 PM


this is why i dont write about myself, i look back and see the way i was and i dont want to remember. anyways yah ive been clean almost a year now so......just look atmy signature at the bottom of this post, ive already messed up alot but ive learned from it.

This is the only life you have, so live it to be remembered

Renegade
Junior Member
since 2006-10-21
Posts 22

2 posted 2006-10-24 04:57 PM


your great at narratives too

If you ever want to talk i'd be happy to cuz i've gone through quite alot myself

x010renegade010x is my aim
my email: renegadejw@gmail.com


RevengeIsMine
Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820
Australia
3 posted 2006-10-24 07:39 PM


Tempest,
Once again another great poem. You are very unique, well you'd hav to be uniquie to make me smile.

Trust me your are not the only guy who has had a troubled life. I'm a chick and my life is so seeriously jaded atm and Poetry just seems to be my only escape.

Good write,
Jess **


hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
4 posted 2006-10-24 08:57 PM


this was amazing... you have been through a lot but the best of that is you can look back and see how for you've come from that, ie. getting your life back on track, very descriptive poem, had a nice flow, and i felt as if i was right there watching everything... amazing
hunnie*

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace   ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~

rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
5 posted 2006-10-25 09:52 AM


Nice write, this seems so true the poem, really good. YOu have hella talent.



Tempest
Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!
6 posted 2006-10-25 05:52 PM


thanks everyone, appretiate it alot
rebel~angel
Member
since 2006-06-20
Posts 71
Iowa USA
7 posted 2006-10-25 09:20 PM


I really liked this.  Amazing poem, and I can relate to a lot of this junk... not personally, but a friend of mine... doesn't really matter anymore...

Remember:Tuck your chin, you're going to get hurt, so expect it and be ready. You might as well see it coming.
-Elizabeth Haydon, Requiem for the Sun

themute
Member
since 2006-05-08
Posts 469
Maryland
8 posted 2006-11-08 09:35 PM


Your poetry reads much like songs, i hope you reach out, there are many structures -or lacks there of- that could improve your expression. All together, I would say your poetry has good intent, but the words could hold more meaning, and personal reality.  

I am the two-toed wanderer

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