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Teen Poetry #8
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RevengeIsMine
Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820
Australia

0 posted 2006-10-21 06:43 AM



Well, I have been busy posting away in the Genreal Forums but just incase u dont visit their i am majorly pleased to show you all some more of my work.......


Fate Has Taken My Baby Away............


Fate has taken its toll once more
To leave us lifeless shocked deeply to the core.
A baby perched upon an angels guiding wing.
Is carried home, to god’s sweet hymn

We seek revenge for the pain now caused
For more hurt on a family leaves life slowly paused.
How can we learn to forgive?
When we hurt so much we can’t bear to live.

I have a life to slowly get back too
I have people to see and lots to do
If I can’t grieve, I can’t carry on
And If I don’t carry on well then the devil has won.

I pick myself up from this solid ground
I hold my head high and I stand proud
I will carry on for the one I have lost
Because she deserves to see me smile, no matter what the cost

To the angels high in heaven, Look after my baby girl
Keep her safe and secure, teach her how to twirl
If she twirls like a ballerina then I know you have succeeded
You’ve made my girl become exactly what I needed.


© Copyright 2006 A Typical Aussie Chick - All Rights Reserved
forever*wishing
Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 178
where my heart is
1 posted 2006-10-21 11:52 AM


wow...that was really good. great flow, sad...but not at all in an overpoweringly way, and an uplifting end to tie it all up. im not an expert writer or anything, but i do know that this was awesome. = D
tapper798
Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353
My own world
2 posted 2006-10-21 02:32 PM


Um wow...this is one of the best/saddest poems I've read. This had so much emotion in it, behind every line. The rhyming wasn't forced and wow...this was just amazing. Made me tear up a bit. lol

AIM-beatufu1tragidy

Tell me what you think about being open, about being honest with yourself.

rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
3 posted 2006-10-21 04:00 PM


BEautiful words!!

I hold my head high and I stand proud

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820
Australia
4 posted 2006-10-21 08:12 PM


All of your comments are amazing and i am so truely thankful....

May you all live life the way you would like,
Jessica

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
5 posted 2006-10-22 12:01 PM


this was a beautifully written poem i loved it...hope to read more soon...
hunnie*

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace   ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
6 posted 2006-10-22 08:18 PM


Your baby girl is twirling like a ballerina among the other angels. She knows you love her and that one day you will be reunited.

An exceptionally moving read. My own sister lost her baby girl whom she had named after me. I can understand some of the pain than you must have felt losing your own daughter.

God bless both of you!

Giving you a loving, comforting, and compassionate hug,

EA


Renegade
Junior Member
since 2006-10-21
Posts 22

7 posted 2006-10-22 08:42 PM


Death is hard to take
when its your baby gal
Happiness i can fake
But miss her I shall

These words came to my head because that poem touched me. i had a friend who got pregnant at 15/16.  I wish we didn't live far otherwise I'd be by her side no mattter what. Death always is hard to live with.


Mr. Omniscient
Member
since 2006-10-28
Posts 134

8 posted 2006-10-30 04:34 PM


I have read one of your other poems... and well all I have to say is you have done it again.
                    

nick_lyss
Member
since 2006-08-21
Posts 88

9 posted 2006-10-30 08:09 PM


hi this was a great poem.it was very sad.im sorry about your baby girl.
Tempest
Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!
10 posted 2006-11-09 07:51 PM


xxxoooxxxoooxxoooxxxoooxxxoooxxxoooxxxoo i just sooo loved it, like fur real, haha...srry my evil twin girl cheerleader that lives in my nostril just popped in to say hi!!
baby_gurl908
Junior Member
since 2006-08-22
Posts 15

11 posted 2006-11-09 09:57 PM


omg this was a great poem it made me cry..
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
12 posted 2006-11-10 02:32 PM


ok, tempest thats a bit weird about the cheerleader thing.

but i thot when i first read it and still think this was an amazing write. ur also one of my fav writers here.as is tempest, stargal, haley(if she would get her but riting again, and kiara(same to her), and bekah , and tons of others but I cant name them all here

good poem

MixedChica
Junior Member
since 2006-11-10
Posts 34

13 posted 2006-11-10 11:00 PM


This is a beautiful poem, the words flow together nicley and theres passion and creativity in every line. Keep up the great work
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