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Teen Poetry #8
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crimsonXnails
Member
since 2008-02-10
Posts 108
dark/little/heavan.:*:.

0 posted 2008-03-10 03:22 PM


srry that i've been gone fer a while. i'm still writing, just not posting. here's one i wrote about another dream i had.

it's hard to breath,
when your lungs are draining,
with the rest of the world.
but if you relaps into clarity,
the world turns a sickly white.
so you hold onto the last strand
of darkened time and
pray, you don't get sucked into the vortex.
falling
down
down
down,
until you land up on this
hospital bed, watching, unable to speak,
to weak to scream,
at the elderly nurse, changing your IV
while you watch the liquid
singing it's sad lullaby
slowly drip it's way through your veins.

if you can touch me, i know i'm still only dying

© Copyright 2008 Tracey - All Rights Reserved
Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620
Space Camp, IN
1 posted 2008-03-10 06:46 PM


this is amazing. i think im adding to my library.
XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891
Neverland
2 posted 2008-03-10 07:42 PM


hmmm...quite macabre dont' you think my dear? oh well, i love it all the same, great job and....maybe dont' watch the Secret Winodw before you go to bed anymore. lol maybe that will help with the dreams.

Love you all the same,

   {~~*~~}

{&}Love*liesOfBeauty~[NowColdInMyHand]
{`~Emily~`}

crimsonXnails
Member
since 2008-02-10
Posts 108
dark/little/heavan.:*:.
3 posted 2008-03-10 10:48 PM


hey hey,
  thanx babe! lol, good times!
  !Tracey!
p.s. you ought to buy me a shooter hat fer my birthday

if you can touch me, i know i'm still only dying

shattered-smiles
Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 247
inside the shadows
4 posted 2008-03-11 08:39 AM


A shooter hat?  You know those things can kill you?

No One Knew She Bled To Feel; To Remind Herself That She Was Real

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2008-03-11 09:22 AM


creepy in a good way...

and?

what is a shooter hat??

crimsonXnails
Member
since 2008-02-10
Posts 108
dark/little/heavan.:*:.
6 posted 2008-03-11 05:06 PM


hey hey,
a shooter hat is just the hat that Shooter(a charactor in secret window) always wore. it kinda looks like an amish hat, but in the movie, he says it makes him look like a dairy farmer from mississippi. lol, thanx fer the replies though.
  !Tracey!

if you can touch me, i know i'm still only dying

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
7 posted 2008-03-11 05:19 PM


is that the Johnny Depp movie?
crimsonXnails
Member
since 2008-02-10
Posts 108
dark/little/heavan.:*:.
8 posted 2008-03-11 05:22 PM


yup, it's creepy (shutter)! that's what makes it good though.

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
9 posted 2008-03-11 05:24 PM


and the corn...I remember that one, lol just not the hat

he's hot no matter what kinda freak he plays

crimsonXnails
Member
since 2008-02-10
Posts 108
dark/little/heavan.:*:.
10 posted 2008-03-11 05:26 PM


oh yeah!

if you can touch me, i know i'm still only dying

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891
Neverland
11 posted 2008-03-11 05:47 PM


You ppl are silly. And sure my dear, I will buy you a shooter hat for your Birthday. Or you know I could just steal Jayden's......hmmm. Well vatever, ................................................................k bye!

{~~*~~}

{&}Love*liesOfBeauty~[NowColdInMyHand]
{`~Emily~`}

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
12 posted 2008-03-11 09:27 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

shattered-smiles
Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 247
inside the shadows
13 posted 2008-03-12 07:24 PM


It sounds like whenever you say shooter hat, it's meaning something alcohol related....

TJ

No One Knew She Bled To Feel; To Remind Herself That She Was Real

starpower
Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 82
Utah
14 posted 2008-03-13 02:29 PM


Wow I love the poem and it has a spot in heart. and you can email me at Starpower60@hotmail.com

You can send me an email,
Thanks

surf_painter
Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434
Canada
15 posted 2008-03-14 11:17 PM


some parts didn't flow as nicely as I thought they should but I did like it as an overall and it was very imagery oriented nice job
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