To the Death's-Head Hawk Moth

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Marc-Andre
Senior Member

since 2008-12-07

Posts 501

0 posted 2009-01-31 11:37 AM

Oh Sister death’s head hawk moth, in the trough
Of midnight flight path to the drear unknown,
Could I, who on life’s mainstream’s now but froth,
But pilgrimage to her and thus atone,
The sinful prayer that still afflicts my soul:
I’d wished her dead, as I recall each night.
Your dreary visitations, at each dusk
In themselves can’t console;
Oh that you had but in my soul found light
Where you could rest, on my remaining husk.

The moon has reached its zenith, wherefore shall
You go? While, undetected, you shall suck
The sweetness of life’s labor, what morale
Is there to give those spared from your amok,
To those, who left behind the dead to mourn,
Whose due eternal rest’s been but postponed?
When Clotho spun and thus was Vicky born
And Lachesis lay the bourne
To mark when she by Atropos disowned
Would be, the throne of Nyx you would adorn.

Oh therefore take me now to Vicky’s ghost
And there will be no need to bring me back;
For I, in Hades, shall gladly stay to roast;
If I be with the one I sorely lack.
You who we fear, but who is yet so gentle,
You put an end to years we spend in sorrow
Delivering us to mercy of the night;
To me you’re sacramental,
However others judge you as bizarro
I ken you are salvation to my blight.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2009-01-31 01:48 PM

Mark,

This is an interesting attempt at stream of consciousness poetry. I couldn’t quite decipher it.

Bobby

Marc-Andre
Senior Member

since 2008-12-07

Posts 501

2 posted 2009-01-31 07:17 PM

Thanks for reading and taking the time to leave a comment, Bobby...

Oops, did that really read like stream of consciousness? What was intended is a (reflective) apostrophe...I have made attempts at stream of consciousness prose (without much success, I must say) in the past, that might have crept up into it.

I do see areas that might want clarity:

1 - "while, undected, you shall suck the sweetness of life's labour": the death's-head black moth is know to raid beehives with impunity as they can imitate the scent of bee and therefore be undected. Also, the death's head hawk moth is usually seen between dusk and midnight.

2 - the Greek mythology, which I assumed was not too arcane to a poetry-reading audience. Nyx is the Goddess of the night and mother (at least in certain accounts) to the three Fates, or spinning sisters. Clotho spun the thread of life, Lachesis measured it and Atropos would cut it off at the due time, in whatever design she would choose. Interestingly, the names of two the three Moirae are the species names for the moth. Another species name is Styx. I'd like to know; can I assume such Greek myths to be common knowledge?

Does the above help to shed clarity in the poem? Should I have elaborated on the referred myths or death's head hawk moth behaviour within the piece?

I'd love to know where I failed to communicate what I intended to. Was this unclear from the start, or is there a line from which the whole fell into obscurity?

Answers to some or all of those questions would be invaluable feedback for me, Bobby.

Once more, thanks for reading. Mark

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