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Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2009-05-07 12:25 PM

I am the control you need to stay inhuman,
the fix for your addiction.
I am the wound you like to pick. I am
the intruder under your skin.
I am the blood that makes your veins protrude,
the whisper in your solitude, and the
reminder of why you are alone,
the creaking within your bones.
I am the ever-night, the chill down your
spine,
I am the slow passing of the time.
I am your cruel and unforgiving winter, I am
the fire that makes you blind.
I am
the only one who ever loved you,
and not the first not to.
I am your comfort, your suffering,
your inescapable guilt.
I am
not yours to keep.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

1 posted 2009-05-07 04:04 AM

A very original, powerfully impressive take on the "I am" challenge.

My compliments for this achievement!

Nice that you are back!

Love,
Margherita

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2009-05-07 04:08 AM

And I am not wind
up your skirt
though I suspect the view is fine.

I tried to pick a line but you are so very intense...to lift one out would leave a gap of senselessness.

I used the phrase of a stone-stack fence, earlier, but it does apply to your work, m'lovely.

Perfectly fitted and totally solid.

And intense.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

3 posted 2009-05-07 07:29 AM

damn..I think I know you..n-joyed it K

Raindance
Member

since 2009-02-07

Posts 120
West Coast

4 posted 2009-05-07 08:52 AM

WOW!!!

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

5 posted 2009-05-07 09:42 AM

Nice to read you again ~ Enjoyed this

ARCTIC WIND

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

6 posted 2009-05-07 10:58 AM

Wow.

Blood that makes your veins protrude.

Mind boggling. This was a really good read.

-P

Everyone deserves to be loved, even you.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

7 posted 2009-05-07 11:11 AM

"I am your comfort, your suffering,
your inescapable guilt.
I am
not yours to keep."

~ A powerful closing to a very strong piece of writing! Well done!

Linda

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

8 posted 2009-05-07 11:30 AM

snice

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

9 posted 2009-05-09 09:18 PM

This is great. You make me want to write another "I Am" or maybe just come back and read yours again. That will work too.

Thank you for sharing.

Alison

sandgrain
Member Elite

since 1999-09-21

Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA

10 posted 2009-05-09 09:35 PM

I'll say, WOW! I love everything about it. In fact I reread it just for the pleasure of experiencing it again.

God bless,
Rae

HAZARD
Junior Member

since 2009-06-24

Posts 40
ENGLAND

11 posted 2009-06-25 08:55 AM

This poem is addictive reading!

I had to read and read it again. I like the guttural YAWP that rings here - was it Whitman? I seem to remember - YUP just googled!
I sound my barbaric YAWP over the roofs of the world.
Walt Whitman. Leaves of Grass

I love your YAWP kaoru

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member

since 2010-03-03

Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan

12 posted 2010-06-30 06:17 AM

Very original with a clever ending.

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