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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2009-02-21 06:46 PM

.

Snow falls
On long planes
As far as the eye
Can see

The world again
Is cold and white
With wind constantly
In one’s face

In thick coats
Fur hats and beards
Men strive forward
In their silence

What use is it
Trying to explain
To those who never
Left their homes
Or other places
So comfortably
Much like them

Why these now
Old winter shadows
Without comment
Still press onward

Following
A tattered flag

.

[This message has been edited by Huan Yi (02-21-2009 10:45 PM).]

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2009-02-21 09:33 PM

Powerful imagery, John. They will walk that walk forever.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

2 posted 2009-02-21 09:33 PM

John,

"planes" is correct usage.

However, to avoid possible confusion, you might also use "plains".

Bobby

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

3 posted 2009-02-21 10:51 PM

.

Thanks both,

I thought to put a "--" pause after “falls”
in the first line but seeing it I don't like it.
"planes" is intentional as I didn't
want to restrict interpretation.

Thanks again

John

.

gilead
Senior Member

since 2008-03-10

Posts 1067
nevada, USA

4 posted 2009-02-21 11:45 PM

Bravo John. I am taken away into the plane of the dimension of beauty, simply, but not so plainly expressed!

Sorry---I love play on words.

art

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

5 posted 2009-02-21 11:49 PM

Yo John,

I've seen big "planes" like that at the "Cleveland Air Show" when I lived in that wonderful, and beautiful town. I sometime miss Cleveland.

I'm at home now, back in Philly, where I belong.

Bobby

[This message has been edited by Robert E. Jordan (02-22-2009 12:15 AM).]

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

6 posted 2009-02-22 12:45 PM

Lovely

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

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