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Open Poetry #44
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my mother
| Open Poetry #44 |
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my mother |
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mein or meree thanhai Junior Member
since 2009-02-01
Posts 21 |
This late night Snow fall on my face Wandering here with nostalgic memory Searching my mother…. Searching on glimmering stars….., …. a lonely star Heard painful songs of wild birds…., Heard a weeping of a baby Who, lost her mother in this deep forest I’m searching till I reach heaven. |
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| © Copyright 2009 mein or meree thanhai - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo mein or meree thanhai, Is this some sort of translation? Be careful of how you use the ellipses. There's a right way, and a wrong way. Bobby |
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Boshii2 Member
since 2009-02-01
Posts 146 |
Lots of little birds fall from their nests. All we can do is pick them up tenderly and put them back. Some mothers do find them again. I will help you find her. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...James |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Very nice thought provoking piece. Maybe you're not using ellipses at all because you're using more than three dots here.....A pause maybe? A time for the reader to absorb maybe? I don't know. Bobby's right though, one might be searching for the expected word to fill in the context. Good work. Eric |
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