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A Glimpse Into the Mind of Julie.......
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A Glimpse Into the Mind of Julie....... |
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juliek086 Junior Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 13Arizona |
Feelings...such a broad topic....so I guess I better get started. I'm going to be 17 in 3 days and I keep refering to it as "the worst day of the year" and for good reason. My two best friends are out of town and I don't even think he (yes, there's always a he) knows it's on Monday so I doubt I will be receiving a phone call, let alone be celebrating it with him. With that aside, I dread my birthday this year more than ever because it's just another reminder of how my life isn't going anywhere. There is so much I want to do right now and I'm not doing any of it. I can't drive yet because I don't have a job and I'm trying to get a job but it's frustrating and I'm stuck at home all day long thinking about what I could and would be doing if I had a car. My birthday is another reminder that I am still alone. I'm going to be 17 years old and I have never had a boyfriend or even been kissed by someone. It's so unbelievable to me to have to think about that. I'm so sick of being alone that it drives me crazy sometimes. I envy those girls who can like a guy, tell the guy, and get the guy. I can't do that. Why can't I do that? Oh I know why, it's because I'm Julie, and in Julie's life, there are always different circumstances. And now I'm whining, but you try being alone for 17 years. I can't help but wonder what is wrong with me that makes no one want to be with me. All I can do is keep waiting, even though I've been waiting my whole life. Cry me a river right? Oh well....... Love is when you do things you swore you'd never do |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Hey Julie, Totally empathise...in fact so much so that nearly 3 years ago when I was turning 17 I posted something similar here. Well, not in terms of a job and car, I didn't have either but didn't need them yet, but in terms of not having had a boyfriend yet. I'm turning 20 in a matter of days (18th June) and I still haven't kissed a guy, had a boyfriend, whatever. There is a guy now who I'm getting close with, but we're "just friends" for the time being, both of our sets of circumstances dictating this. But yeah, I know how you feel, thinking that you're the only one without that somebody special when everyone else can get a guy no prob. Lol...I had people responding to my post saying things along the lines of "plenty of time", "your time will come", "you're still very young" blahdy blah, but of course that didn't really help so much cos I was still alone!! I guess all I'd say is concentrate on what you do have and enjoy that. Quoting from a poem I read by V. Shoffstall, "plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers" Life is only what you make of it...and some have to work harder than others to make it what it should be. I wish you all the best and a happy birthday when it does come. Hey, you never know, you might be surprised by that elusive phonecall you mentioned actually coming through!  Anyways, if you ever want to talk, pigletdoglet@hotmail.com is my msn handle and my email address. Luv, Liz xxx "Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~ |
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