»
Discussion
»
Feelings
»
Pray for the prey
| Feelings |
|
Pray for the prey |
|
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA 
|
Ok...I don't want to clutter the main board with this...But I would like to add just an ending thought to the topic... I know what it is like to be victimized...being sexually abused as a child...I don't blame myself for that...For I was only a child... People who have been victimized don't realize one important fact...They grow up differently than a person who has never been victimized (emotionally, sexually, physically, mental deficits, lack of core things that are needed in their childhood that will allow them to become adults that don't always feel they have to search for something they FEEL they don't have. Victims often stick out like sore thumbs...The neon sign on a dark street...Predators know exactly what to look for...And sadly..too often the victim has never realized that their sign is on 24/7...flashing like crazy....Saying "I'm over here!" Victims often learn hard not to try to trust... And many continue to be victimized...And they often have a difficult time in relationships because the other person in the relationship is sometimes someone that is a victimizer... It happens everywhere....Not just here...it happens everywhere....And I also don't believe the blame lies solely on the victim...far from it... There...I have rambled enough....And BTW... I don't blame the person that abused me for my life...I have forgiven them...I have also learned a lot about feelings..about trust...about compassion.. and I know a lot about victims... But, you know what...I used to be one...I don't consider myself to still be that...That would only make me never recover, never learn the right answers... And one last comment....IF the predator were your brother, sister, father, mother, a cousin, a best friend.. Would you still feel that predators should all be shot and killed...or dead??? Or would the narrowminded attitude change perhaps...because we are all his children...and who are we to judge. Many abusers need help....Many are not what would be considered a predator...The shame and guilt of both the predator and prey keep both of them as they are...victims and victimizers/predators... [This message has been edited by Magnus (01-27-2002 03:59 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved | |||
RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
Magnus, you are so right. Victims usually feel that it is their fault and they brought it upon themselves, but it is not their fault. People who abuse others are not mentally stable. It is so heartbreaking, but you Barry, have grown into a caring, loving man! I think of you as a dear friend to me, I feel as if I have known you for a long time. (Hugs) you know I am always an e mail away Joanna |
||
|
doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
thank you for this. i needed to hear it. could you maybe offer some resources for help? where did you learn so much about this? i was raped 2x during my teens & 20's...the first one was a gang rape... the second a date rape.....i can identify with everything you've said here (note: to all you predators out there, this is not an invitation!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!! i crack myself up) |
||
|
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Doreen...I learned this during four years of therapy that took a great deal of inner courage to be able to confront all of my feelings... Any competent Psychiatrist can certainly help open the doors and possibly help you find inner peace...I wish you well. And just one thought....YOU HAVE TO WANT to get through it...or you never will...And I won't tell you it will be a cake walk... But there is a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow...believe me...I found mine. |
||
|
doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
thank you Magnus |
||
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
thank you Barry  Kathleen--(Kay) A true friend does not love you for who you are, but in spite of who you are." -- Caroline Tran [This message has been edited by Irish Rose (01-29-2002 07:14 AM).] |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"not my fault..." It took a long time for me to understand that. Thanks Mag. |
||
|
Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
Barry...I am so glad you posted this....You have a deep understanding and compassion for people whose lives have been affected by predators...It is true both the predator and the prey need to seek help....I was the prey and it set up a series of events in my life that only recently, with professional help, was I able to recognise and deal with it. I learned that not only was I a victim but the one who preyed on me as a young child was also a victim of his past...a cycle was set up long before I was born...in learning that, I was able to love and forgive the one who started me on my own cycle.... You are right, victims send out very strong signals...I for one want to give love very much....I also want to be loved in a normal relationship...not like the ones I have come from.... To make things clearer...I was sexually abused by my father when I was 5 years old and it continued for several years...all of which I blanked out.... Victims...need to be treated as victims...and not blamed when they trustingly are used by another predator...I do not care the age of victim or predator....the victim cannot see as clearly as others when red lights appear... Thank you, so much, Barry...this has helped me more than I can say....****big big hugs**** to all those who have had any kind of experience that has left scars on the heart, soul and mind. I love you all here, dearly. Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. [This message has been edited by Startime (01-28-2002 07:05 PM).] |
||
|
Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
I would like to thank u for the message I cant tell u how but thank u for sharing ur wisdom. Write what you feel, feel what you wrtie. |
||
|
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
"There...I have rambled enough....And BTW... I don't blame the person that abused me for my life...I have forgiven them...I have also learned a lot about feelings..about trust...about compassion.. and I know a lot about victims... But, you know what...I used to be one...I don't consider myself to still be that...That would only make me never recover, never learn the right answers..." I will not say how closely I identify with your post, Magnus, but I will say that I can identify with it. I believe what I have picked out here, says it all for me. Thank you for sending this message out. It takes some a very long time to get to the place in their lives that go with the thoughts that stood out to me here. I came to that place at a younger age than most ever will be able to, and I know I am blessed because of being able to get there. I feel also blessed to have gotten there without the aid of counseling. Not that I disagree with counseling or find anything wrong with it...just that I didn't need it. For all who watch.Dare you say hello? Come in and ask the questions that are on your mind, but spare me your judgement until you truly sipped of me. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
